Reply to At what point is a teen "spoiling the nest" (before college) going too far?

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]We are living this right now as well.
Rules we have put in place.
If she can't  pick up sibling such that I need to do it, there is no using the car that day.  
If clothes are not put away, we do not "give back" clean clothes that somehow found the way into the hall hamper.
We sat down and spoke about financial expectations - my DD decided not to work this summer - fine - we are not providing spending $ beyond the small allowance that she has always had. Not giving money for gifts for friends birthday gifts, starbucks habit etc.  
When she decided not to get a job, I wrote on a piece of paper the agreement and she signed it.  Is is taped up on the wall so we are all on the same page.[/quote]
At this point, I wouldn't even give her the allowance.  She has the time, and I assume the means, to get a job.   If she is busy with something else important going on, that's one thing. But, if she is not doing anything, then she should get a job.

My older DC told us to stop giving them their allowance as soon as they got a job at 16, which they also worked during the school year (straight A student in a magnet program).  The younger DC is planning to get a job as soon as they turn 16.  We've communicated this expectation when they were younger.  We don't expect them to work much during the school year, but certainly expect more hours during the summer.  The older one works only a couple of hours per month while at college, but they are interning now in the summer.  If they didn't have the internship, they'd work more hours at their PT job.

We are UMC, btw, so it's not like we cannot afford the allowance, but it's about teaching them some responsibility, including financial responsibility and independence.

I guess I can understand that some kids are more stubborn than others (my kids are actually pretty stubborn - takes after the mom ... me ), but when they are stubborn, unfortunately, you have to be stronger and really put your foot down and be immovable.[/quote]

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