Reply to Moving parent to the DMV for assisted living?

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]My now 82 year old mother moved from the middle of PA in the back of beyond to McLean, VA to a continuing care community in the fall of 2022. It was a giant pain to clean out her big house and deal with decades of crap, and it was also a giant pain to figure out finances, sell her house, do the application for the CCRC, etc.

That said, our only regret (my mom and my siblings and me) is that the move didn't happen sooner. She has a new lease on life with her new community and has made so many great friends. She's even dating! She was so isolated before, and now she is surrounded by people and has everything she needs on site (a clinic, a hairdresser, a gym, PT, a short-term rehab center, a library, several places to eat, and so many activities she can't keep up). She's actually less needy than before because she's getting her social needs met where she lives and not relying on me or my siblings to visit or spend time on the phone every day. There is assisted living and memory care onsite if the need arises. Her apartment is cute and gets cleaned as part of the resident services so she's only surrounded by the stuff she really loves and everything is so much cleaner than before in her big house.

Yes, her new friends die but that would happen no matter where she lives.

There are so many excellent health care providers and facilities to choose from (and she is diabetic and needed back surgery). Her medical care has improved 100%.

I'm in MD about 10 miles away and my siblings are both in NYC. It's so much easier for them to visit now because they don't have to drive -- they can fly or take the train.

I definitely agree that you should discuss with your dad, investigate CCRCs, and make any move that works out sooner rather than later.[/quote]

+1 if you do make the move, consider a continuing care community. My grandparents moved from another area into one in their 80s and are now 95 and 97, made it until very recently in independent living there (probably rare, it was partially because they had each other) but they made friends, had the support they needed, had access to assisted living and nursing home care when needed (some big changes recently). I think we all think it was a great decision, though it is a very expensive one... [/quote]

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