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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]
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OP again. Thank you. Yes, lol, the semi-horder tells me to just give it away, but has circa 1990 and 1980 clothing shoved in closets and up in the attic where it will never again see the light of day; there are important and not important papers shoved in drawers where clothing should be; he has books, books, and more books that he will never read; and 5 of everything b/c he puts things away so well that he can never find them again, and, therefore has to buy another. When we visit his parents (west coast), they make him go through at least a box from highschool/college that he's left there in case he needs that stuff again.  [/quote]

OP, does he agree with your basic premise, that a less cluttered, more organized home would be less stressful and a more healthy and welcoming place for you to bring up your child?   If not, I would try to work with him on that until the two of you are on the same page about that basic goal.

After that here are some tricks for helping him declutter his belongings:

1)  Find a place he cares about where he can donate his books.   My husband woudln't part with his books and collections of magazines until I found an organization that would take them and really make use of them.  he is fine with giving away stuff if he feels it is going to a good home.

2) Get him to agree to donate the stuff, but then hire someone to actually go through and do it.   Much easier than having him have to handle each book and item of clothing -- gives him opportunity to change his mind.

3) Find every single book in the house (or item of outdated clothing, or collectible statue, etc) and gather them all in one place -- then ask him how many he really truly needs to be happy.   EVen if he will only get rid of 20% that's a good start.

4)  From the collection of like items you have gathered, take some pictures of things he just wants to save for the memories; and save a few of the nicest ones and prominently display them.  Under glass or whatever you need.   Then get rid of the rest.

5) Don't get discouraged; take baby steps if need be.   Try to focus on one area at a time so you and he can see success.  If he isn't too far gone as a hoarder, the experience of freeing up physical space should be an enjoyable one after the fact, and that might encourage him to keep at it or at least let you keep at it. [/quote]

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