Reply to Are there ramifications for being a SAHM?

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Do what you want and what feels good for you in your relationship.

I always liked working. I derive satisfaction from working. I didn't derive much satisfaction from being a full time mom (which I essentially did for 3 years - though always was technically employed at the time, for purposes of keeping my resume fresh).

I hear a lot of women on this forum say that their husbands always continued to treat them as the same equal when they stayed home.  That's great! In my case, I don't think I'd ever be attracted to the kind of guy who had the same respect for a sahm wife as he would have for a working wife. Because honestly that means he probably didn't put a whole lot of value in the accomplishments of a working wife. I have accomplished a lot in my career and education. It really is harder and more interesting than baby raising. So if a guy was like "my opinions of you won't change based on whether you continue working or not"..... . that's kind of weird, and not the guy for me.  Consequently, my DH is very attracted to my professional success; we definitely weren't as connected or have the same energy when I wasn't working. But again - your DH and your relationship may be different, so you do you. [/quote]

I am a career woman who also was SAH for a few years. It's the opposite to me: "career" in dmv area is just pushing papers and moving funds from point A to point B. Parenting to young kids is far more difficult and importnant, and I would never be attracted to a man who didnt consider parenting as equal as working a full time job. 
It IS a FT job![/quote]

I’m a working mom and wouldn’t be happy if my DH valued my career over my role raising kids. I also wouldn’t respect him if he didn’t acknowledge the burden of pregnancy and childbirth. [/quote]

+1. The DH who values a career over SAHM is also likely to blow off the demands of childcare. I’ve both worked and stayed home, and my DH saw value in both. Beware the man who thinks all childcare can be outsourced. He’s the one who thinks he’s done heavy lifting when he does daycare drop off or pick up.[/quote]

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