Reply to Our son just told us he's trans

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Reply to "Our son just told us he's trans"

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]17 is old enough that they probably have felt a disconnect with their gender identity for a while (potentially years) and just decided to tell you now. I would be supportive and try to learn more about what next steps they want to take if any. Also ask if they are interested in meeting with a therapist to discuss this and help determine what is next. If they want to go the route of hormones and gender reassignment procedures make sure they are given education and well-informed about potential medical risks associated with the treatment plans. Eg. (risk of bone density loss from hormone therapy, frequency of complications from surgery, etc.) They are very close to being 18 anyway and they will likely try to obtain these treatments on their own if you refuse (in less than a year). So just be accepting and ensure sufficient access to medical professionals, so you can help them evaluate what they believe is best for their health and well-being. In conclusion, be a supportive parent and respect their gender identity. Many kids find it difficult for them to come out to their parents and they need someone to provide support during this time which is challenging for many trans kids. [/quote]

Another very important thing I would recommend discussing with them before they start any surgery or hormones is fertility preservation options. If you can afford it to pay for it and they are willing to do it. It would be beneficial to go to a fertility clinic and freeze sperm to protect their ability to start a family in the future. Ideally you would want 2 or 3 visits to the clinic to ensure there are plenty of samples for potential IVF cycles in the future. He’s only 17 and most people  don’t know for sure if they want kids or how many they want at this point in their life. Hormones therapy can permanently impact fertility for some so it’s smart to bring it up. [/quote]

Many trans people don't want to have children though some do. For trans women that end up with cisgender men or other trans women as their partners, they rarely end up having biological children of their own. For trans women who's partner is a cisgender woman or a transgender man, it is more common. At 17 there is no way she can be certain that she won't want biological children in the future so I agree that freezing sperm is a good idea assuming the parents have the money to pay for it.

The good news is that OP will be able to have a relationship with her daughter since she seems like she's trying to be accepting. Being kicked out of the house at 18 because you're transgender is an incredibly common experience. Someone living in their car isn't going to be prioritizing the possibility of having children in the future. Even if they did have them in the future, the grandparents would never see or know about their grandchildren.[/quote]

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