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[quote=Anonymous]I think the gender really does matter.  I wish it didn’t but these relationshios are still affected by historical gender noms that make some things harder for boys and some things harder for girls.  I had a old teacher that used to say a girl needed to see a boy in three safe places before she’d feel ckmfortablf going out with him—that’s probably not quite right but I think there’s still some reluctance by a girl to go out with some rando because of safety issues (even if they won’t admit it).  So building up experiences where the girl sees you with friends, sees you in a space she feels safe (church, her karate dojo, whatever) can really help.

Dating is in the end often a numbers game.  Think about baseball batters who are considered phenomenal hitters if they hit one out of every three.  Dating is probably like that or worse.  You won’t get a yes everytime and accepting the no gracefully is one of the best skills you can learn.  It’s great that they recognized after one date that person was not right for them — that’s a major success they should feel proud of.  Too many young people waste months or years on relationships that are not right because they don’t know how to walk away.  So I would really congratulate them on this as a real success.  Dating is weird because it is, by design, something you will “fail” at multiple times and only “succeed” at once, if you are lucky.  There are some movies and TV shows that make this point — you really need to know what’s wrong to figure out what’s right.  [/quote]

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