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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]

I'm 44. Husband wants a second child.  I do too, but am terrified about how everything will change in our lives since our first child is 9 years old..  We tried for a second one three years ago using IVF, but it failed, and we didn't try again because my father was seriously ill and there was other upheaval in our lives (job loss, etc).  Now things are stable financially, dad is doing okay, everything seems manageable again, and DH wants to try again for #2.  Is this crazy?  Has anyone else done this - two kids with a 9-10 year gap?  We would use a donor egg, since I'm almost 45.  Could anyone share their stories?

Thanks.[/quote]

DH's mom had her second child at 45, 25 years ago (which was 10 years after she had him).  I don't think being older parents was too taxing on them, they are very active and love their children.  I'm sure it sucked being the oldest by far parents in their small town, but you won't have to worry about that here!  They retired while their second sibling was in college (a very expensive college) and are still helping out the sibling financially, which I personally think sucks. DH's sibling is very spoiled and gets a lot of financial assistance from them that my DH never received (he never asked for help, his sibling always asks despite not needing it, and his parents are too kind to say no).  So while this may be a personality thing between the siblings, just beware that you could be in your late 60s and still paying off your child's student loans, helping them move, buying them big ticket items, etc...  Mind you, DH's parents have never, ever complained about this, and still have enough money to enjoy their retirement, but I do feel like the younger sibling is taking advantage of them (but honestly, that could happen at ANY parental age).
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