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[quote=Anonymous]We visit my ILs at their house every two or three years. We have a good relationship and they live in a city with things to do, but it is a long flight and it’s expensive for 5 of us to fly, plus rent a mini van, plus take vacation days. They come to us once or twice a year, which is much easier for them because they are both retired and are in good health. We also take a trip with them at least a year to a place we all want to visit - sometimes domestic, sometimes international. We also try to spend one holiday a year with them, but go to FIL’s brother house for a big family gathering, which is another long flight in the opposite direction. If we had unlimited time and money, I would have no problem going more often, but with limited school breaks for the kids and limited vacation budget, I just don’t want to keep going back to their city over and over.

If I were you, I would visit once every other at the absolute most, and limit the trip to 3 nights. Is there another city/town nearby you could spend a couple days in to make the flight worth it? Or just go for a short trip!

Your parents can’t force you to visit or stay a certain number of days. So they whine and yell and complain?? Who cares! Ignore! Just tell them you can come for X days in August, take it or leave it. And the next year, you don’t have the budget to take two family trips and you want to go to ABC place instead, they can come or not. DH doesn’t have to go every time either, as long as you can manage the kids on the plane, let him stay home.

They sound like miserable people and I would probably just stop going altogether.

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