Reply to Are your adult children grateful for their trust funds?

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Rather than giving them trust funds, you could fully fund their education, including living expenses, through a particular degree or age, buy them their first car, pay for their wedding, chip in on a house downpayment, pay for big family vacations that everyone will enjoy, fund your grandchildren's 529 plans and perhaps offer to pay for your grandchildren's private school and sports.  I've seen this approach work very nicely for an extended family member.  All of their kids had an excellent education and went on to have meaningful careers; so far, they are still in first marriages and have many grandchildren.  The family is close, perhaps partly because they go on at least one fabulous vacation per year (think Caribbean resort, giant ski mansion on the slopes, etc.).   The difference here is that they never created a codependent financial relationship.  They promised them an education, a car, and a wedding.  Everything else along the way has been a surprise.   [/quote]

It can work well or horribly.  The parents still have to be fine with kids' individual choices and not try to dictate how the kids will live their lives in order to get the next chunk of $$$s.

It's one thing if the kid has a drug habit or is a criminal or an extreme case...but you can't decide you just don't like a spouse, or you want to have input on what private school or what house you buy and where, etc.

I know someone like this where the wealthy grandparent wants to micromanage everything, even though they don't think they are micromanaging.[/quote]

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