Reply to Being a working parent sucks

Forum Index » Jobs and Careers

Reply to "Being a working parent sucks"

Subject:

Emoticons





More smilies

Text Color: Font: Close Marks

[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]I'm the parent who keeps the flex schedule so kids aren't in SACC till 6 or stuck in camp aftercare which is ALWAYS terrible. But my career is so stymied by being parent friendly. Really wish we had focused on breadwinner SAHM model rather than equality and "do it all" fallacy.

That's all. Off to pick up my kids from camp. [/quote]

+1 In your same boat OP. My husband was working in big law when I had my first and told me he'd happily be the breadwinner if I wanted to stay at home. I blame years of indoctrination from my education and even my own parents that WOMEN MUST HAVE A CAREER AND YES THEY CAN HAVE IT ALL, I chose to stay in my well paid but stressful consulting job. As much as it hurt to see my baby get whisked off by a nanny (yes, we had the privilege of affording a nanny but I still didn't love the arrangement), I just could not give up my career. I didn't even love my job, but I loved that I had a career and that's what my peers and society told me I had to have.

Fast forward 5 years, we've had a second kid and husband now works as a government lawyer. I essentially had to mommy track at some point and now I'm neither here nor there. No longer work for the prestigious big name company but still have to keep working so I'm constantly stretched thing as the primary back-up care person, especially in the summer.

Wish I had chosen to be a SAHM when the chance was there. Or not had kids. Or just had one.

[/quote]

Do you think your DH would have remained BigLaw if you had SAH? If not then living off a gov lawyer salary may have required sacrifice you may or may not have tolerated.

We would have to live off my spouse salary, which would have meant some exurb with a long commute for him, I doubt he would have stepped up to a Big Career. That said I’m a simple person so that is very attractive; all I would miss is the travel budget. [/quote]

yes - that was the arrangement he proposed. I stay at home and handle the kids, he will stay in big law to make sure we are comfortable. His mother was a SAHM and he has a wonderfully close family, so he was fully supportive of me becoming one even if it meant he had to stick to big law - he saw it as a joint sacrifice (i give up my career, he stays in the stressful job) so we can give our children a peaceful upbringing with a lot of time with a parent as opposed to daycare or nanny.  At the same time he, coming from the same background as I did, would never has demanded/expected that, because that would make him a disgusting old fashioned oppressive man! So when I insisted on stay in my job he said ok. It did mean he didn't fight tooth and nail to make partner - because hey, he had a wife who at the time made just as much as he did! He also wanted more time with the kids when I had the really long hours.

[/quote]

Maybe he would have made partner, but in my experience, the people who make partner are workaholics already, and they would not have been someone who took the time to be a family man with the kids given the opportunity.  So you could’ve ended up for the same place only with the worse career progression for yourself [/quote]

Options

	Disable HTML in this message
	Disable BB Code in this message
	Disable smilies in this message

Review message

Search Recent Topics Hottest Topics