Reply to Therapist says we are busy doing and not feeling

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]I like being busy and I don't feel like I don't have relationships because of it. The people who are too emotional are the ones I feel it's very hard to have relationships with and quite frankly they are the ones who also never have time for my own feels. When I have a major problem and need to vent or get help on, these are the people that are most likely to be dismissive or avoid me because they can't handle another person's feels. If a child or my husband has a significant issue, I am more than happy to cancel things to work on the issue, but I'm not going to get worked up and pretend someone is being mean because they didn't clean up their plate or because someone told them to clean up their plate nor am I going to just let it go like it doesn't matter if they clean their plate. I don't see how everything has a major emotion tied to it. A lot of life is just daily maintenance, interpersonal civility, safety, and personal growth. [/quote]

It sounds like not all your family members have this approach to life and emotions and you may be overly rigid about insisting everyone be like you. If small things are resulting in big blowups, that usually means people have emotional needs that aren't being met. So like the feel ignored or unheard all week and then someone doesn't clear plates from the table when asked and it's a big meltdown because it sends them over the edge.

To put it in your color parlance, you may think people are in the green or yellow zone but they are actually on orange and it's being ignored, so it's a surprise when the suddenly go red. The therapist wants you guys to be more in touch with the yellow/orange feelings and address them soon to reduce how often things ratchet up to red or blue.[/quote]

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