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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Assuming he's not a stalking concern.

Suck it up and get over it.    You don't own a neighborhood.[/quote]

While I agree no one "owns" a neighborhood I think there are shades of gray here. Same general neighborhood but otherwise you don't see them any more than you did before and it's not like they are right next door is very much a "suck it up and get over it" situation.

But I have seen people behave very weirdly post breakup and one of the most common "weird" behaviors is people who make choices that put themselves in the other person's life more than before. So moving to the same block or building or signing up for the same activity or befriending people from your work or similar. I've seen this enough times to be wary of it generally. Like if you suddenly your ex is showing up to the coffee shop you go to regularly to work at the same times or you are seeing them often on your run or whatever I think you have every right to think it's odd and also be annoyed. It might not rise to the level of stalking (after all the beauty of moving to someone's neighborhood is that you can "incidentally" run into them and then claim you were just on your way to or from your house -- it's like an end run around the definition of stalking) but it is absolutely a violation of boundaries and just bad form post-breakup.

I would also note that I've had some breakups where the problem this would pose is that if I knew they moved close by I'd find myself drawn to adjust my commute to walk near their house or hope that I saw them at the grocery store. Because I was the one who wanted to keep things goign and they didn't. And in those situations having my ex move near me would be a form of torture -- sometimes you need distance to get over someone and if you don't get it you wind up trapped in this limbo of still wanting to be with them. I had an ex once who was determined to maintain our friendship and was ALWAYS around and it was horrible and I finally just had to tell him to make himself scarce so that I could actually let go of my feelings for him. I wanted to walk into a party or meet up with friends for drinks and NOT see his face every single time. And sure enough once he disappeared from my life I started forgetting about him and actually developing an interest in otehr men and actually moved on. Depriving your ex of that is kind of rude if you were the one who ended things. [/quote]

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