Reply to Daughter no longer wants to hug me

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]A spider free house is not possible and she can’t grow up avoiding anything that scares her. I recommend the podcast clusterflux. She talks a lot about how avoiding things that make kids anxious makes the anxiety so much worse.[/quote]

And maybe learn about about spiders. I used to be like her. I still don't prefer them to be near me or to see them in the house but I can tolerate, and even appreciate, them. I joined, recently, a naturalist page on SM, and it's been very helpful to identify, learn about, appreciate, etc. and dispel the fears around spiders. Something like that may help if she's willing.

I will say that my DD and i are VERY close and, in her teens now, she's not into the hugging and stuff that she used to love. I actually felt a bit smothered at one point when she was younger but I'd kill to have it back. Nonetheless, I have backed off that and give what she wants. And she'll seek it out when she wants a hug and affection.

Also sounds like you need to connect 1:1 w/o any nagging, judgment, etc. (not saying you were wrong to scold or that you nag). But doing things like going to a concert, shopping, or some activity that you would both like. Do it fairly regularly to keep the connection. [/quote]

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