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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]I say this kindly, OP. You're going to have to toughen up. Your dear mother is going to get worse, and you'll have to be the person everyone relies on to figure things out.

Wishing you lots of strength in your ordeal.[/quote]

I’ve buried a sibling, done vigils at bedsides of another parent and two grandparents. Two of them had long, slow pathways to death.

I say this kindly. You need to develop empathy. [/quote]

You misunderstand. I have lots of sympathy, given my parents are going the same way. But it doesn't help to melt down in a puddle of tears. It's going to get worse before it gets over, so my advice to myself, and to OP, is to soldier on. [/quote]

I will second this.  I think the most empathetic thing you can say to a person is, yes, it's heartbreaking.  But having been there, it is so much harder when your emotions swallow you up after every visit.  This sounds really hard, OP.  I die a little inside each time I'm met with some new affliction or issue with my parents or I hear that my father fell again or that my mother can't get out of bed today - the list goes on.  I tied myself in knots and made my life so much harder but being emotional and frantic.  I do cry sometimes still - when I'm alone in the car or other moments when I'm alone and can just let go.  But I'm much happier drawing boundaries on both their needs, and my emotions.  Believe me, this advise IS empathy.  From all of those who have been there / are still in it.

Hugs to all.[/quote]

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