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[quote=Anonymous]No strong opinions on whether it’s a troll post or not.

OP, if you’re still checking in and this is a real ask: Set a boundary that works for you. Between your need to be less emotionally involved in your child’s life and your financial goals, what feels like a reasonable timeline for your kid to leave the nest? Communicate that. Say “I need [not want or hope] you to move out by xxx, 202x. Let’s set some goals together to help you be ready to leave.” Perhaps start by having your child use his/her/their wages to pay for phone and car insurance. In the mean time, create a savings account to help your child get ready to pay a rental deposit. Perhaps give a certain percentage matching deposit for what your kid is willing to save.

Keep setting boundaries and holding firm. If you are going to stop paying for the phone by a certain date that you have already communicated, then be willing to cut service and change the WiFi password. This will communicate that you are consistent and that consequences will be real. Set a last date you will pay for classes. Better still, sign a forgivable loan agreement with your child. If they pass the class, tuition is forgiven; if they fail, they pay you back. But also be there to help your kid problem solve. Know that most people facing new boundaries will get angry or sullen. Expect there to be conflict. Be prepared to show firmness and empathy and to help your adult child develop their own problem solving skills.[/quote]

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