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[quote=Anonymous]OP here. Thanks for these perspectives. To answer some of the questions: I’m 44. I have created a very nice life for myself. Good job, financial security, advanced degree, amazing little girl and supportive, kind husband. I don’t feel anger or bitterness toward my father or ex, but I’ve felt sad at times. So much time has passed that I don’t dwell on those relationships. I’ve learned from them - I know the type of husband I wanted for myself and the type of father I wanted for my daughter.

The reason this question came up for me does relate to my brother, specifically my mother’s comment about why I’ve essentially cut him out and can’t forgive him for things he’s done in the past. I told her I’m protecting myself from getting hurt. She thinks we should have a relationship because it’s been a couple years since he’s been hurtful toward me (my response was that it’s been a few years only because I haven’t let him be close to me). So I wanted to hear why others forgive. I don’t know what it means to me or what purpose it would serve, which is why I asked the question. [/quote]

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