Reply to Withholding Alzheimer’s Diagnosis from the Patient

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]You are taking away her option of taking her  life.  Once cognitive impairments get too advanced, you lose that legal option.  She may be past that already, but be aware that you may  taking away her ability to legally end her life.[/quote]

That's true. I understand FIL's motivations, but honestly, taking away agency from a patient is immoral and against medical ethics. My husband, a doctor, would have asked the patient whether or not she wants the "technical details" of her diagnosis or not. He would have explained the broad implications of the diagnosis regardless of whether the actual term was said out loud. 
[/quote]

I like this option. It still gives the option of agency but without dropping it on their head - especially if they are not showing signs of interest or concern, or if the specific word "Alzheimers" is like a trigger (beyond the actual implications).

OP - do you really think she is the type who would prefer to take her life than live with an Alzheimer's diagnosis? And I mean like the PP above outlined - finding someone to assist and/or making it happen in a safe and humane way. I interpreted your original post to mean that she is the type that will be anxious and depressed about the "A" word and it would negatively impact her quality of life without adding any benefit. I didn't think you meant that you thought she would literally take pills that night after writing a letter to her husband. If that's her choice, I don't disagree. I might do the same. But I suspect it wouldn't play out so neatly for OP's ILs.

Also, OP, you say the doctor thinks it's likely she has Alzheimer's but it's not official yet. There are more tests. So one question is whether or not to continue pursuing the diagnosis. Yes, there are a few treatments but most have a low likelihood of long term improvement. We just went through this with my dad, and at first it was "age-related memory problems." Then it was vascular dementia. Then it was a more specific form of dementia. Nothing really changed at each step. If I thought it was creating anxiety and stress for him, I would have suggested stopping at the "age-related memory problems." Each time they had extra tests for him - PET scan, questionnaires, etc - we made sure he was okay with going.

So for your MIL, at each step you can ask "what level of detail would you like" and "would you like to take this test." If she is serious and determined like the PP above, then she will ask for the full report and will act accordingly, as is her right. But if she is not really with it, is not really driven to act, does not really want to know, then she might decline to continue the tests. She might be okay with a watered down description of the situation. But I really like how PP describes her DH as giving them the option to extract details at their own comfort level.[/quote]

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