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[quote=Anonymous]I agree with others that forgiveness is about you, not them. It's not becoming a doormat, opening yourself up to further hurt. It's healing from the inside out. I have an estranged brother, no contact. I was so angry for so long that it was eating me up inside. I would seethe with anger, feeling justified (and I was) to that anger. But he was out living his life, not giving me a care or concern in the world. I took up, and currently take up, zero space in his head. Who's being harmed? I had to talk to myself about forgiving him, for finding it in me to know that he is a damaged, hurt individual and grieve the relationship we'll never have again. That's forgiveness. I'll never see him again, and part of the estrangement is ensuring he doesn't have contact with my daughter, but I don't seethe with anger anymore and he has utterly zero hold over me. So I would, as PP noted, ask yourself why this is coming up for you now and start from there.[/quote]
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