Reply to Strictly ranting: my kid is so average it hurts :(

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]He sounds very sweet, OP, and he will come into his own and shine.

If his GPA is low, and he's "shy" and not focused, have you thought that he may have inattentive ADHD? My son has that (along with other issues) and ADHD meds were a lifesaver in middle and high school while he caught up. Graduated high school with a 4.67 GPA. Now he's in college and doesn't use his meds except for exam days.

Just making a suggestion.[/quote]

Thank you! It has occurred to me, but it’s more like he either doesn’t want to work harder or maybe he genuinely doesn’t realize that the quality of work he produces is not up to par. Like, he will say - oh I missed assignment X and got an F, but I’ll ace assignment Y and make up the grade. Then, he gets a C on assignment Y and is flabbergasted. [/quote]

PP you replied to. A little research on the nature of inattentive ADHD would not come amiss. Your son needs a lot of explicit explanations, training and hand-holding. His reactions are textbook inattentive ADHD. The "Oh, I'm so surprised it turned out this way despite my parent and everyone else warning me it would turn out this way" is very frequent in those profiles. The issue is that they are missing key steps in the process. They know what they want, but they can't get there by themselves, because executive function (task initiation, task completion, working memory, time management, organization) are missing. It comes across as laziness or lack of motivation, but it's actually a divergence in the way their brains produce and transmit the neurotransmitters necessary for planning and action, particularly that of non-preferred tasks. Conversely, someone with ADHD might hyperfocus on a preferred task (video games, or reading, or whatever). Hence why their entourage might tend to blame and misunderstand rather then correctly identify and address the underlying issue.

An evaluation might be in order. Generally ADHD kiddos benefit not only from meds, but also from executive function coaching, either informally from parents, from a resource teacher or counselor at school with the services and accommodations of a 504 plan, or from an executive function coach you hire. 
[/quote]

Thank you very much for this!

The problem with assignments is not even forgetting to complete it (we are working on it, he is getting better at keeping track of things, and there are make up options!) but rather not wanting to. He KNOWS he hasn’t done assignment X. We talk about it, he tells me very heatedly that he doesn’t have to do it, he will be fine, etc.

What surprises me is that even though he allegedly is doing his best on assignment Y, he STILL doesn’t get an A.

I also don’t see a hyper focus on anything (well maybe except video games but I thought it was pretty common, all of them would game for hours if allowed etc). We tried a million activities throughout his life and nothing really stuck. He has some things he likes but nothing where he invests any significant effort.

I will try to arrange a testing for him though. It’s been nagging me for a while and your posts are the proverbial straw I guess. [/quote]

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