Reply to Has anyone else never “found their people” as an adult?

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Is there a church or cultural connection you could explore? I feel like you could find another introverted person from your same East Asian background to date. Easier said than done, I get it. But you’d gain esteem in your family probably and have a person at your side who really understands your struggles.

What’s the equivalent of a “nice Jewish boy?” Get yourself one of those. [/quote]

OP here. This post made me cry because my ex boyfriend (who I dated for a year and then promptly broke up with me in January, three days before I got fired from MBB) was a textbook NJB. He was a kind, gentle Jewish boy from a very Jewish Boston suburb, and he fell in love with me after our first Hinge date because "I was beautiful" and "so sensitive." But he broke up with me after a year because I'm "miserable to be around" and "completely joyless" and just "absolutely depressed all the time." He told me that he never felt good around me, and that I was extremely needy in our relationship.

I think my neediness makes a lot of sense in retrospect. My NJB ex-boyfriend was the first genuine, long-term relationship I've been in (whether that's platonic or romantic), and I put a lot of expectations on him to meet all of my needs -- romantic, sexual, and friendship-wise. Neediness is also a key cornerstone of BPD.

I think I need to figure myself out and develop some rewarding friendships before I can go into a relationship again. I'm still really upset about our breakup (I spent nearly every day in January and February crying about our breakup as well as being laid off by MBB). [/quote]

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