Reply to Cousin dating someone who is brown/black and from a different social class and I want to make sure he feels comfortable

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]My cousin's new wife made wisecrack about it not being easy to be the dumb ones in the family and it went a touch past wry.  They work in the restaurant business and all the rest of us have BAs and most grad degrees.

We cannot fix their intellectual insecurity.  [b]Nor is it easy to find common topics of discussio[/b]n.  I think it's best to keep things light and breezy...watching movies together, playing games, making meals, etc.  My cousin elected to be a college dropout - it's not an issue of finances or other bad luck.  No idea of the wife's background beyond a sense that her family is LMC.

I recommend avoiding humblebragging, no talking about academically-achieving kids, real estate, stock market, luxury cars, etc.  Basically topics you'd see on DCUM.

I also gave them a nice cash wedding gift, traveled to the wedding, and sent a little follow-up joke gift along with a registry item in hopes that she'd realize I want to be considered a "nice cousin".

Finally, even if he's just awkwardly watching, he will undoubtedly be debriefing with his gf, and she should guide him on how to fit in and be comfortable as time goes on.
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Ok now this is odd. One of my good friends is a chef and through her, I've met many of her restaurant industry friends from kitchen help, chefs, servers to general managers. Not to mention all the other people I've known in the restaurant industry. Working in a restaurant does not mean you're an idiot. These people like... Read books and watch trending shows and go to concerts and raise kids and have families and have hobbies and watch the news and... and... And. You get picture. Why do you struggle to find common topics of discussion? This sounds like your problem not theirs. [/quote]

PP.  I've only met them a couple of times.  The wife is shy and insecure from what I can tell.  With their restaurant friends that I met in and around the wedding, they mostly joke about in-joke stuff from their work. And yes, they talk about food and making food.  I can talk about that but frankly I don't know much to have a convo about it at any real level.  They don't have kids...they just got married.  My cousin is almost 2 decades younger than me and also quiet. That basically explains it.  [/quote]

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