Reply to What kind of school best for dc who is somewhat helpless?

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[quote=Anonymous]OP, one of my kids was this way at the start of the college process. The good news is that the process itself is an amazing growth opportunity. We told DD that everything about it needed to be “hers” — she had to write the emails, register for the tours, arrange interviews, make any phone calls, etc. At first, we had to read over email drafts, talk through what she was trying to communicate and how, help her organize, etc. Over time, we did a lot less of that. Kids do gain confidence and grow through the process.

She targeted LACs, but she also actively wanted small. I think a more important criteria is how accessible mentoring/support is. Also, she decided not to attend the most selective school she got into — she realized that being around kids at her reach might make her feel intimidated, which could exacerbate these issues. And she decided to take a gap year to work, so she might feel more competent when she lands on campus.

FWIW, she has high IQ/low processing speed, and I think a lot of the helplessness came from a kind of brain freeze/anxiety when her thoughts and ideas were still catching up with her situation. She’d sit down to write an email and not find the words immediately. This created anxiety, which of course only interferes with thoughts/ideas. Learning what was actually going on with her processing was supremely helpful — it removed the anxiety (itself a game changer!) and also gave her a roadmap of things she could do to find the words. I offer this in case it sounds familiar.

Good luck to DC, and to you. They really will grow a LOT. [/quote]

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