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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]I’m a childless fifty year old who has taken care of many elderly relatives in a variety of settings.

[b]I’ve pretty much decided I’d rather die puttering around my apartment and falling than in a nursing home.[/b]

What are her finances like ? Could she or you afford home caregivers?[/quote]

It’s not all about you.    This attitude is so self-centered and selfish.

Dementia patients left on their own become a danger to everyone else. Their neighbors, first responders, random innocent people.[/quote]

NP here.  No, this poster's attitude is not "selfish."  Can you truly not understand the horror and stress of having to move from your familiar home, losing everything you recognize and what remaining independence and control you have all at once?  There have been many studies proving that moving into nursing home/care shortens the life of the patient.  It's a monumental and horrible thing, though of course some families must do it for financial reasons.

The other poster asked about the mother's finances.  Some people actually can afford quality demential care at home.  It's a valid question when you consider what is at stake.

I've seen three relatives go into assisted living and nursing homes at very plush facilities, and it was terrible always.  It was not the ideal way to spend your last years.  Frankly, it was hellish.  And these were the "best" facilities.

Like that PP, I'd rather die at home, or just die.  Let's not pretend these places are ideal, or that the trauma is not real for the inmate.[/quote]

Great, so you are volunteering to move your child next door to the dementia patient that likes to light things on fire?   Or will put your child in front of the car driven by the dementia patient who will drive right into a farmer's market?    Surely the small price of your child's life is worth not subjecting a dangerous person to a "hellish" nursing home?
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