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[quote=Anonymous]I know of anwoman nearby who had developed dementia. No kids no family around widowed 20 plus years . The neighbors (a longstanding tight neighborhood) stepped in. One was appointed poa. They took care of her as long as they could and recently sold her house and she is in memory care in nice  facility, where another friend of their circle is (that friend is only in assisted living). She gets lots of visits. I helped appraise some of the estate sale items and everything seemed above board. Unfortunately most people don’t have this kind of support.

I am going to talk to my single no kids brother about this. My daughter will probably be the one to help him out if needed one day (if I’m not around). He will have enough money for a CCR and I’m going to encourage him to retire near us or maybe one of our kids if they are settled. He plans to leave his estate to them anyway but no one wants ti be a burden.

I think about this too with my kids. I think the assisted suicide in case of dementia question is really tricky. You have to do it while it’s very early stages and at that point you don’t feel like much is wrong. My mother used to tell me all the time that she would rather be shot that have dementia, it’s her worst nightmare etc. well, she is in stage 4 Alzheimer’s (so,  a batty old lady but capable of reading the by times,!dressing , general conversation , knows who we all are..::she doesn’t need memory care, just can’t do anything with finances, cook, drive or remember short term like if she took meds and gets confused neither née information. She is also unable to grasp she has Alzheimer’s and would in no way submit to assisted suicide now. I mean, she got the diagnosis , was quiet and sad for a while and by the time we got home from the neurologist she had essentially put it out of her mind and the only time it’s come up is that I heard her tell someone that she started memory meds so that she won’t get dementia and now her memory is great.

Watching this makes me really think that the assisted suicide for dementia is so tricky. My mom is not the person who begged me years ago to never let her get like that. She’s batty but she wants to go to dinner with the kids and listen to music and read. By the time she is no longer able to do those things she won’t be able to make any decisions at all. The only thing I can do is a more specific advanced directive for dementia patients (we have one but she was like “why do I need this?”)[/quote]

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