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[quote=Anonymous]7:56 PP here:

I would ask questions about what the punishment is for?  What is the "crime" they committed worth hurting themselves.  Pay particular attention to perfectionism and unrealistic expectations they hold themselves to that they wouldn't hold others to.  Find out if there are substitutes for cutting.  Talk about the self-punishment as a pile-on...a way that makes them feel worse not better and the shame, guilt, embarrassment might be enough.  I am so sorry that you are going through this.  As you can see on this chat, how common this is.  I know it is alarming but self-harm does not equal suicidality and something needs to replace the impulsive behavior before it is removed completely.  It seems really backwards but for some kids cutting or self-harm IS the coping skill.  It's an unhealthy coping skill but it might be the thing that is holding them together.  Freaking out and pulling it away too quickly without support in place can be devastating.  So work with a therapist to replace it, learn distress tolerance skills, and to understand the why and what of the reasons your child is in pain
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