Reply to When one parent wants private and one wants public

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Op, step back. Do nothing. Say nothing more about it at all, to anyone. Does DH make it happen on his own? He would need to care enough to make it happen. He would need to care enough to do every detail. Do all the talking to the kids, any convincing. Deal with any push-back. Again, handle every detail. Don't make this a marital issue.
(my guess is ... it doesn't happen)[/quote]

This is great advice![/quote]

Agree. This may be one of the best pieces of advice I’ve ever read on DCUM. 
When I do this with my husband, I win 100% of the time. [/quote]

NP. I am sorry but this feels incredibly manipulative to me. Just use your words and say that you are not going to do the work to apply. I cannot imagine being so passive-aggressive. You aren’t “winning,” you are being a jerk.

The other problem with this advice is that if OP silently steps back to let it fail without actually saying she is going to do that is that she has a kid who is a teen who is going to watch and learn from that passive-aggressive behavior in a situation that is extremely high-stakes for the child. This is an awful lesson to teach and could cause lasting damage to OPs relationship with her kid.

Be an adult. Use your words and deal with the consequences. This sad sneaky passive-aggressive approach is genuinely pathetic. [/quote]

Disagree. By now OP has already made her position clear and they both know they have different stances. So there's nothing sneaky about this approach. [/quote]

To alleviate PP's concerns, OP could also say, "If you want this so much, you are welcome to go through the application process, but it's entirely on you." Then it's really not sneaky.[/quote]

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