Reply to sister not pulling weight during family weekends -- what would you do?

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Step back. You are complaining about making breakfast and her taking a nap. Seriously?

If you are that annoyed ask her to make breakfast one morning. As far as the nap, turn on the tv for the kid if you don't want to entertain him.[/quote]

OP here. I get that this sounds really petty. But trust me, it's much more than breakfast and a nap -- those were the easy examples I could think of. It's about someone who habitually assumes you will watch/entertain/wipe/feed and otherwise engage with her kids while she exercises/reads/runs/sleeps/[b]hangs out with her new boyfriend[/b] and there is NEVER any help coming from the other direction.[/quote]

Then oh HELL no. Where is the new boyfriend in all this, then? And I do get that single mom, 24/7 on duty...but it sounds like she is 'off duty' 30% of the time when her kids are with their dads.

OP, start speaking up. I have to do this with my DH - he will sleep in EVERY morning, play on his computer, etc. completely oblivious to the kids. What I find is that he's more on the clueless boat than on the 'I want someone to watch my kids' boat (not to say there isn't one foot in each, but you get my drift).

So, if he doesn't want to get up and I'm in no mood to deal with the kids, I send my kids in to wake him up. If they are hungry, I say 'The kids are hungry. Can you please get up and feed them? I'm grumpy and I don't want to deal with them this morning.'

You could also do the stuff that's easy and ask your sister to deal with other things to free up your time. Like, 'Can you please get up and watch the kids so I can shower? And can you clean up from breakfast too?'

Or plan ahead, like at lunch time: 'How do you want to split kid duty this afternoon? I'd like to get a run in and I'm sure you would too. Do you want to have some free time from X-X, and then I can have some from X-X?'

If you are up front and anticipate, then you don't wait until you're upset, and it'll be easier to work things out.  Does it suck that you have to be the one to do this? Yes. But for some people, they take take take and don't even realize what's happening half the time, so you have to communicate more.

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