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[quote=Anonymous]				Wait, op, why did you take the bait about your boyfriend? What she said wasn’t nice, and I can see defending him if he was there, but you knew she was off her meds, and he wasn’t there. You were several states away and yet you couldn’t say “what? I can’t hear you for some reason, the phone sucks today, let’s talk later”. 
Normally I’d be on your side, but you want a relationship with your sister and your nephews and if you want a relationship with the nephews, you have to keep mom happy. I can’t understand why you didn’t ignore the comment, and while you don’t believe it, I do have some experience with this. You need to decide what’s important, if it’s your sister, fine, ignore the nonsense. If it’s the boyfriend, fine, though again you know your sister is a nut, so why argue. Do you think she may just be onto something? 
You can also decide you’re just done or that you don’t need or want to talk to her everyday. Whatever is or isn’t going on, she lives several states away and nobody is forced to live anyplace they don’t want to live, not anymore. Why not spend your sister talk time focusing on your family or at least people and activities that are local to you? 
I also think you have a problem with boundaries, as another person said “you don’t just stop by when someone is mad at you”. I can’t understand why you’d think that was a good idea. Your sister may be lots of things but you aren’t too nice either, taking the bait over something that you are apparently happy with (he’s still your boyfriend right?), thinking you could and would only stop by if she just lived closer and then trying to be in touch with her kids and worse yet, getting your own kids to “check in” on their cousins. For Pete’s sake, at least leave your own kids out of it, or better yet, explain their aunt, how it impacts her children and how it impacts them. Maybe not the happiest of conversations but that’s part of being a mom. As a friend of mine says “If adult stuff didn’t happen around kids, I’d never have to think about explaining adult issues to them” It’s worth remembering. An adult issue is impacting them, largely because of your actions, now you need to explain it. If only you’d let the comment about the boyfriend go, op. 
Lest people think I’m letting the mentally ill person just say whatever, I kind of am. It to me wasn’t worth a fight yet op chose to engage. OP could have also spun this in her own head anyway “Hey, my sister is really saying I’m so good-looking gay men want me”. Could you not have reframed this op since having your sister in your life is what you want? The beauty of this is nobody has to know what you do with a comment someone makes to you. 
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