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Reply to "Blame Game/Do you consider this lying? is it inherent in personality?"
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[quote=Anonymous]My DH does this- he was diagnosed with ASD/ADHD pretty far into adulthood. His sister does this on a much more intense level and has BPD. So in my limited experience, it does have to do with a brain that is wired differently but can present itself across a spectrum. I think my SIL has severe problems that wouldn't have changed had she been parented differently, but my DH would have benefited from the language PP above posted about language to avert defensiveness. It's also important to talk out loud about perfectionism, shame, etc. DH is really touchy about those topics because he takes it as a personal attack. I try to verbally own and narrate my own shortcomings or mistakes to highlight the harmlessness of most of my mistakes and expose the feelings that many of us have to some degree. I am really deliberate about talking about stuff like this in front of DD.[/quote]
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