Reply to To What Extent Can/Do You Control Your 16 Year Old Kid'S Clothing?

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Unfortunately you are at a disadvantage since her mother has no problem with it.  I see so many teen girls who look like trash.  Skirts are way too short, bra straps showing, black bra under white top, bad make up.  I just feel bad for these girls because they look awful, and they do not have a mother who is helping them look appropriate.[/quote]

If you don't have a teenage daughter, you really, really shouldn't judge.  Once they reach a certain age, you cannot dictate what they wear.  You can try, I suppose, but unless you have a particularly pliable child there's nothing you can do.  Tell a 16 year-old to wear her makeup differently?  That makes me laugh.  At this age its their developmental task to create their own identity and it isn't always pretty in the process.  But the girls with the controlling parents have a much tougher time down the road.

If you have a younger daughter you will find out soon enough.[/quote]

Not the pp, but my two oldest daughters are (almost) 17 and 13. There's no way in hell they're going out of the house looking like sluts. While I allow them the freedom to choose what they want to wear, I ultimately buy the clothes and if they are inappropriate, they don't get them. Period. There is no negotiation on that front. [/quote]

I don't buy my daughter's clothes, she has an allowance that provides for it (though far from extravagantly) and she buys them herself.  If she wants something expensive, she has to save up.  You really don't give your daughter the freedom to choose what she wants to wear.  Or you give her the freedom to chose amongst the outfits that you like.  This is a recipe for having your daughters change between home and school.  This is extremely common, I see it at DD's school.  And the girls who do the changing dress far sluttier than my daughter.

My DD's clothes are more along the lines of . . . unusual.  Certainly not what I would choose for her.  Sometimes the outfits make me cringe.  She's 16 -- right on schedule.

I will take my approach of giving my DD both the choice and the responsibility for her wardrobe over your approach of standing in the doorway with your arms crossed.  Because eventually they have to walk out of that door on their own.  I am pretty confident that my approach will better equip my daughter for that future than yours.

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