Reply to Exhausted due to my husband's micromanagement

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[quote=Anonymous]It's too bad you can't buy a duplex together so he could live in one side and you could live in the other.  He could keep his side OCD clean and you could keep your side however you like.  I suggested this to my sister, who is a slob married to an extreme neatnik.  (they've since learned to compromise; they decided on a minimally acceptable level of clean and she maintains that and he goes further if he deems it necessary.)

I come from a family of people who like to do things a certain way.  My father is so picky about loading the dishwasher that we all just stack our plates in the sink and let him do it.  If my roommate loads the dishwasher inefficiently, I reload it without comment.  I'll rearrange stuff in cabinets and drawers without comment.  The key here is that I do like things a certain way, but I don't feel like it's my roommate's job to be able to read my mind or do things to please me.  She is an adult so I don't make house rules other than stuff like "please don't leave your first-floor window open when we're not at home."  (safety/theft issue.)  My daughter is only 4, and I treat her the same way - it doesn't have to be "my way", it just has to not be a stupid way.  (i.e. don't wash darks with whites or crank the AC at 60 when we'll be gone for a week.)

Your husband needs to learn to do things himself if he wants things a certain way, and to pick his battles only with actual important stuff.  You are normal, I think - his behavior is not.  (and to be honest, I'm not sure why you married him.  I would have picked up on this stuff and gotten the hell out before marriage ever came into the discussion.  sorry.)
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