Reply to Mine and My DH's sex life sucks

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[quote=ThatSmileyFaceGuy][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]You have to "want" each other or at least make a show of wanting each other. No one gets dibs or gets saddled with initiating sex. It's not just one party's responsibility.

OP, does he EVER initiate? Why would he say he wants to be the only person "wanted" what about you?
[/quote]

OP here.  This is a hard question.  He used to initiate it.  He said he stopped b/c he is sick of getting turned down.  But, it is not as though I'm lying in bed and rolling over on him.. it's just that he was initiating sex at times when our kid was running around the living room or something - or other times where it would just be totally impractical to throw down.

And I tried to designate a day of the week like another poster suggested (Sunday nights), but I got flack for that b/c he said it made him feel like me having sex w/ him was a just another chore of mine to be done.  I tried to explain that I wanted to designate a time b/c, w/ my hectic world (I'm a lawyer and my hourse can make life a little crazy), it made sex a priority.  But, he still gets pissed if I try to set a day of the week.

I don't know what the hell to do.... I think this is potentially his self esteem issue.  I'm trying to figure out if I've contributed to it (probably) and how best to resolve it.  Which seems hard to do when my sex drive isn't that fantastic anyway, and the only way it really gets moving is to see him being strong and confident.  Dammit.[/quote]Scheduled sex is ok as long as that isn't the only time when sex happens. That is when he is starting to feel like it was another checkmark on your "To Do" list
Also when he does things with the kids running amuck do you respond with a STOP or can we start this again after bedtime? [/quote]

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