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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]You know what, I’m really tired of people on Instagram and DCUM throwing around “narc” so much. Narcissism is actually a clinical term and laypeople can’t diagnose it.

Isn’t it funny how you liked her at first? The most logical explanation is that over time, relationships with ILs devolve from well-intentioned, best-foot-forward interactions to familiarity to real life with real people and all their flaws and foibles. So liking someone at first and then eventually having problems and a strained relationship does not necessarily indicate “narcissism” so much as it indicates “human relationships.”[/quote]
+1

A few years all the bad people were BPD. I really hate the armchair diagnosing- definitely one of the plagues of social media. One of the worst things it does is encouraging people to go “no contact” at the drop of a hat. Now, I don’t want to minimize DV, and there are times where that is definitely the safe thing to do.

Most people that we find problematic can be dealt with using boundaries. Set reasonable boundaries, keep them, don’t fight. If someone is super toxic, they’ll cut YOU off in response to boundaries (but that doesn’t happen very often, because we aren’t actually as overrun with “narcs” or whatever else as the internet wants us to believe).[/quote]

How do you set a boundary for someone who is always turning the conversation back to themselves? I’m just used to a conversation going back and forth, not to someone asking a question, then interrupting the answer to continue their monologue. [/quote]

First, is it really intolerable, or just an annoyance? If the latter, maybe you let it go.

If it’s intolerable you can pick an amount of time you can live with. 5-10-15 minutes? If you can’t have a conversation at that point, just smile and say, “It’s been great hearing about XYZ! I’m off to the [pool, kitchen, talk to Aunt Diana, whatever]. See you later.” And walk away.

I have a cousin who will tell you every moment of his day, like putting his socks on. He will not stop. We have to just get up and walk away. It’s probably a trauma thing (over talking sometimes is) with him. He’s not a bad person, he can be very kind. He *receives* info through email.

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