Reply to If someone has baggage (divorced or kids) from another relationship

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Agree that baggage is a terrible term to use in the way OP used it. We all come to new relationships with a past. To refer to someone else’s past as baggage and not your own is judgmental and offensive.

But I also think asking questions[b] like what did you learn from your divorce i[/b]s offensive and I’d be over this relationship. It’s important to know current relationships and custody schedules and issues. But why make someone you presumably love pick apart painful parts of life.

It’s not like he’ll ever be the same person with you as with an ex because you’re a different person. If there are things you can’t live with, like previous affairs, just let him know instead of picking at scabs to get an answer to what could/should be a direct question. [/quote]

The problem with that question is op is assigning blame in a situation that she knows nothing about. It comes across as " you're a man you're at fault".

Nothing wrong with having detailed conversations in fact I think many conversations  should be had but approach is everything.

Ops approach is all wrong and I'm assuming since she's dating a divorced dad she's at least mid 30s herself which suggests her own relationship issues , communication is clearly a problem for her.[/quote]

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