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Reply to "How did you stop giving up on life?"
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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]OP I’m right there with you. I have two really demanding special needs kids who don’t seem to care about me at all. My husband’s only emotion is anger. If he’s not mad, he’s just surviving. Doesn’t talk to me anymore unless he has to. I have some medical issues that are pretty painful. The other day I had minor surgery. Opted for local anesthesia because my husband would likely be annoyed if I asked for a ride after general anesthesia. (He’s got tons of time but says I’m using him if I ask for help.) I came home from my procedure and got my own ice and meds. Picked up kids from school and made dinner. Nobody asked how I was or offered to help. It’s hard to feel like I matter. My lovely mother cares but can be a bit distant emotionally. She’s had a tough life and really holds it together. I wonder how she remains happy when she has so much to deal with. She seems to compartmentalize the bad stuff really well. I’m pushing through because she needs me. And I guess I need her. My husband would do the minimum as a father if I wasn’t around and he doesn’t believe our kids need help for their medical issues. I can’t let them go untreated. I need to be here for other people but I’m not here for me any more. Whatever happens to me is fine as long as I can get my family in a place where they can take care of theme. That’s all I focus on. I don’t know if there’s anything after death. If it’s all just over, I might as well stay here and be productive. [/quote] It sounds like your husband is a miserable disgrace of a human being whether you ask him for help or not. Please don’t martyr yourself as you did the other day - accepting the local anesthesia, driving yourself home and getting your own meds, etc. Ask your DH. He can yell and scream all he wants and accuse you of whatever he likes, but who the F cares at this point. Let him have his infantile tantrums. You’ve internalized his attitude and don’t care about yourself but he is a disgusting pig. In the few seconds it took me to read your post I came to fully loathe him but I also want to shake you into standing up for yourself, his shi**y tantrums be damned.[/quote]
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