Reply to DH says his success is my success

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]No, I don't think his success is your success but it sounds like you chose to go the more traditional gender role route.

Personally I am not a fan of SAHP after the kids are in school because I do think both parents should be involved in a life other than raising children but I do get that some women like to be taken care of and just relax at home while their husband works. For those that aren't ambitious and just like luxuries and don't mind being child-like and dependent on others - this is the perfect life.

I would be embarrassed too to go to a reunion because a rich husband to me isn't my goal or what I see as success. To me that isn't the dream. [/quote]

That’s the problem. I [b]was[/b] ambitious. I [b]was[/b] career oriented. I used to work 60+ hours per week when I had my first child. Those hours weren’t sustainable. I took a lateral less demanding less paying job when I had my second child but the job was not satisfying. It was just a job to have a job. I kept cutting down and stayed home when we had our third child.[/quote]

NP.  I hear you, OP, but: this might have changed even if you hadn't met/married your husband.  I was top of the class, top college, top law school, BigLaw, etc. and always chasing the next step up.  I met and married my husband, who is not extremely rich or ambitious, and am the higher earner in our household (not in an extremely uneven way, but SAH is not really on the table).  Now I find myself following homestead Instagram accounts and fantasizing about buying a bunch of land somewhere and getting some chickens and raising my kids away from the grind of DC.  I was very ambitious and career oriented, and now I work because bills need to be paid and this is my role in the family.  It's not that I hit the limit of my potential (I'm GC at a tech company now, doing pretty well by most metrics), it's that I simply don't care about making more money or being more recognized in the same way that I used to.

If I went to a college reunion I don't think I'd be trying to evaluate who had achieved the most in their professional arena.  I'd be trying to catch up with people and see who is doing well and happy with life in general, and it seems like you are.  Lean in to *that*.[/quote]

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