Reply to If you’re a woman and married someone from a lower socioeconomic class

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[quote=Anonymous]Some people who grew up poor will do anything and everything to avoid raising their kids like that, so they work really hard at school, get really good jobs, etc. Some people who grew up poor are fine repeating that in their own lives. So you could pick two people from the same lower socioeconomic class and have two different results. Because of that, I don't think you can use that as a single factor to determine whether or not a marriage will work out.

I think what matters more is:
- Do you have a shared vision for what you want for your family? (Where you live, how often and where you travel, what kind of schools you want your kids to go to, plans for retirement, etc.)
- Do you have an agreement about how you will divide things outside of work if one of you substantially out-earns the other? (Are you ok with your husband being a SAHD, is he willing to do more childcare if you're working longer hours, etc.)
- Do your families get along and, if not, how will you handle that? (Not only do both sets of parents get along, but how does each set of parents view the son or daughter-in-law - is there respect there, or is it jealously/suspicion)
- Do you agree on spending habits? (Not only on big things like houses and cars, but also little things like eating out, beauty treatments, etc.)
- Do you both have similar drive? (In all things, not just work, but socially, physically, intellectually, spiritually if that's important to you)

There are more things, but you get the idea. I certainly think it's worth thinking through the possible pitfalls of marrying someone from a lower socioeconomic class who is going to earn less than you, but I would say the same thing about marrying someone in a higher socioeconomic class who is going to earn more than you, or even someone from the same socioeconomic class who is going to earn the same amount as you. There are a lot of areas in which you should be compatible with your spouse, and I think you're missing the forest for the trees if you're only focusing on those two.[/quote]

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