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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]NP here. My DH is like this and on top of it, if I take over something he's not doing, he will sometimes get upset and demand I let him do it... and then not do it. I'm talking for months, not hours or days. We have been fined by our HOA for not getting a needed repair on our property (that was a genuine safety hazard) because he dragged his feet on it for TWO YEARS.

To those of you suggesting it's ADHD, I believe you. But how do you get a diagnosis? My DH has zero childhood evidence of ADHD. He was an excellent student (high school valedictorian, went to an Ivy where he completed a challenging STEM major with good grades) and always socially adept. No evidence of either hyperactive or inattentive symptoms in childhood or adolescence. Even now, the issue seems to be anxiety/procrastination but not necessarily typical ADHD symptoms. I'm at a loss for how to proceed.

DH knows it's a problem and is 100% open to seeing a doctor, getting a diagnosis, and pursuing therapy or medication, though. But he will never actually make those appointments or follow through on his own. I don't know where to start.

He is a good partner in other ways, FWIW.[/quote]

People with ADHD hyperfocus on subjects that interest them. For your DH, that might have been STEM.[/quote]

PP here and yes, this is what he has-- hyper focus. Math problems, logic puzzles, learning a foreign language, cooking-- laser focus. He's also great at routines and has zero problems with stuff like taking care of himself, hygiene, eating well, his commute, etc. He's almost never late, and he can be very organized when he wants to be.

Meanwhile, if he has to get the kids ready for school without me, they will be 20 minutes late, not wearing uniforms, with unbrushed hair and mismatched shoes. And he'll be frustrated and annoyed and stressed about being late. The aspects of parenting where you can't control all factors but have to kind of project manage a herd of cats are torture to him.[/quote]

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