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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]I feel like I sacrificed everything and I watch my brother sacrifice nothing (like choosing a vacation instead of OT for his kid) and I don't know that it really matters, it is what it is. People do what they think and the kids turn out accordingly. People carry guilty resentment or carry nothing and that's that. Do whatever. See how it goes. I did what I did because at the time that's what I could live with.[/quote]

To clarify -- did he take a vacation for himself while denying his kid OT? Or did he pay for a family vacation for all of them instead of spending money on OT? I can see an argument for the latter, as someone who has a kid with SNs. A lot of the therapies you get offered are expensive but don't help. A LOT of them. There are absolutely times when we've decided to scrap a therapy so that don't throw good money after bad. That money might go towards college savings, or retirement savings, or fixing up the house, or a vacation. Any of which I would view as also being for the benefit of my child, actually. It's just a choice to spend family resources differently. It is not de facto selfish, unless you're funneling money your kids need to stuff that ONLY benefits you.

Parents make choices like this all the time. They choose to send their kids to mediocre publics rather than stretching to the limit of their income to move for better publics or pay for private. This is not selfish if the goal is a more financially stable family life, being able to do other things as a family you would not otherwise be able to afford. It may reflect different values than yours, but it's no automatically selfish. Some people spend a lot on their kids activities, others don't. Some buy their kids really nice, trendy clothes, others don't. None of these are inherently selfish choices.

A selfish choice is "you will eat unhealthy and bad food so that I can afford to buy drugs and concert tickets for myself." It's not "you know what, this OT isn't doing anything anyway, let's take the kids to Disney this year instead because at least that's a memory we know our kids will love and I'll feel slightly less screwed over than if we give that money to this therapist who doesn't take insurance."[/quote]

We had a child in many years of therapies.  We never did vacations, only diy the house and put everything into them.  That is a necessity for some kids.  [/quote]

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