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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]I think you both need to do some serious thinking while he’s on this trip. I never understand why people want to partner with people they argue with all the time. A successful relationship shouldn’t be that volatile. [/quote]

OP here.  I think we argue a lot for a combination of reasons. 1) I think I have attachment issues due to a very "unsafe" feeling childhood with a lot of benign neglect and volatile parents 2) He does a lot of things that make me feel unsafe, like talking to girls he used to hook up with, snapchatting girls, etc. He lets me see his phone whenever so it's not that he's actually cheating with these women but it still drives me up a wall, I lash out, etc. And whenever I retreat from the relationship and want space (like sleeping in a separate bed) it really triggers him in response. In a way we bring out the worst in each other. [/quote]

Tough love (because I was like you): you need to get out of this relationship and get some therapy. Learn to love and take care of yourself before you commit to any other men. Yes, it takes a lot of work, and yes, it can be lonely at times. But you’re gonna have to do it if you want to end up with a successful relationship instead of this mess that you’re in right now. And yes, it does sound like an absolute mess. Do not stay in a relationship if you “ bring out the worst” in each other and argue all the time.[/quote]

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