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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]22:48 again, I wanted to add:

I do think people often unfairly place all the blame for emotional neglect on their mothers, be wise the expectation for fathers to be emotionally present and nurturing is so low. My mom made major mistakes as a parent, but my dad is a true narcissist (incapable of empathy, unable to even recognize anyone's needs but his own) and I think my mom genuinely did try, but struggled in part because she was tied to this man who was incapable of loving her or any of us. It would be easy to pin it on her because she was the more present parent, even if barely present. But he probably did more harm in the long run. I cannot even remember my dad ever telling me he lived me or expressing any interest in my life or me as a person. I remember once he saw d something complementary about my sister and it was intensely upsetting for me because I had not even realized he was capable of noticing one of his kids in that way, and to learn he was and to still not be able to get that kind of attention from him was devastating. It was this one offhand comment 25 years ago and I still remember it very clearly because it shocked me and upset me so much.[/quote]

My ex was like this as was each of his parents- all on the autism spectrum, HFA.
Totally clueless, self-centered and uncaring.  He was diagnosed in his late 30s when I was wondering WTF was going on- exec functioning issues, no emotions except anger, forgetting everything, not seeing obvious or dangerous things that needed to be addressed, avoiding conversations, etc. Just like his Mom and Dad who live 1000s of miles away! Thats their sad, neglectful, lack of empathy, norm. [/quote]

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