Reply to How to Help Aging Parent and Caregiving Sibling

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]I live on the east cost.  My parent and one sibling are on the west coast.  Given their proximity, my sibling has voluntarily helped my parent for years.  My parent is happy with this and expects my sibling to help more as my parent declines.  My parent very much wants someone to take care of them and make all of the big decisions for them.  A few years ago my sibling and my parent separately asked me to help with a few "emergencies," which required me to drop everything I was doing to research and find options, only for my sibling to say "oh, I figured something out, I don't need your help anymore, didn't I tell you?"  This happened multiple times over a few months.  We didn't have a falling out, I just stepped away because clearly my time was being wasted.  A year ago another sibling accidentally told me that the sibling close to my parent was recently diagnosed with ADHD.  My parent doesn't know.

Part of me thinks I should come up with a list of cleaners, meal prep services, maintenance, etc. services for both my sibling and my parent for the time when my sibling hits a breaking point trying to take care of my parent and their house, along with my sibling's own house.  Both my sibling and parent are adamant that my parent NOT go into a care center.  Part of me thinks my sibling and parent have a history of ignoring my input even when they ask for it, so why bother?  But I do think a crisis will come.  Is there anything I can do now so that everyone is in a better position for whatever emergency unfolds?  [/quote]

How is that helpful to give them a list when you don't even live in the area.  They know you will not help so they gave up asking.  Sibling has figured it out and will.[/quote]

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