Reply to Better for kids to stay in roommate marriage with DH?

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]When I was considering divorce, [b]the books I read suggested staying together for the kids really is better.[/b]

But the real answer, I think, is “it depends.”  Is it even remotely possible for your marriage to ever get better?  Then stay.  Is it REALLY low conflict, with no abuse/infidelity/addiction?  Then you should probably stay.  Do you have any love for DH hidden away in your heart, even if only as a father?  Then probably stay.

Or is there a lot of resentment and sadness curdling under the surface, waiting for an explosion? 💥 That is the type of unhealthy relationship dynamic I think people want to avoid.  The “roommate marriage” is just what people used to consider normal.  It’s unusual for people to stay passionately in love forever, to have great sex forever, no matter what people on this forum say.

I decided that I love DH and want to make things work and it got much better.  Not perfect but better.

[/quote]

I think OP's specifically looking for the names of the books you read, then. That's what she said she came here for.[/quote]

One that I remember is “What about the Kids?” By Judith Wallerstein.  I liked this book a lot- it made it clear that divorce isn’t the end of the world but even the author conceded that a low conflict marriage is probably better for the kids.[/quote]

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