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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Me. Contributing factors:

- Studied abroad junior year and when I came back for senior year struggled to find housing off campus (and living on campus as an upperclassman would have been considered weird) and wound up living with a friend who had already graduated, not that close to campus. She was busy with work and we didn't socialize that much, but it also meant I was a bit far from other friends for socializing, and it kind of torpedoed those friendships. We stayed friends but then did not stay in touch after graduation.

- Moved to a part of the country where not a lot of alums from my undergrad go. Had one friend from undergrad who moved here at the same time and we have definitely stayed friends, but I went to grad school and her career/personal life went in a different direction from mine, so I wouldn't say we're close at all. For instance I didn't invite her to my (admittedly small) wedding and it wasn't weird at all.

- I think I'm a bit of a loner in general? I have more grad school friends than undergrad friends, but even in that category I'd only include one classmate who I'd say is still a good friend 10+ years later.

But it was fine because [b]I wound up making a really great group of friends in my late 20s, post grad school, who remain my closest friends.[/b] And I met my spouse through that group. So failing to create close connections in undergrad was not the end of the world. I mostly only think of it when I'm hanging out with my good friends and one of them mentions one of the THEIR college friends, or getting together with college pals, and I remember "oh yeah, I don't really do that." Oh well. I have a good life otherwise! And my degree still works for getting me jobs and stuff. So it all worked out.[/quote]

Curious, how did this happen for you? Making friends in your late 20s as an adult in a new city is notoriously difficult. [/quote]

I had a roommate who I kind of stumbled into (I was living with a grad school classmate who decided to take a year off and sublet her room to this person). We hit it off as roommates, in part because I think I was very open to making friends at the time (this is key). They had a sibling who also lived in our city, and I quickly became friends with that sibling as well due to proximity and, again, being open to it. Then the three of us used to go out a lot. Through this, we hung out with colleagues, grad school classmates (of all three of us), and people we met in random hobbies (classes, rec sports, trivia nights, whatever). Over time, we collected some people who just stuck around. Two of the three of us got married, and that solidified some of these connections. It was very organic but it started with a good accident (winding up sharing an apartment with someone the same age and life stage who was not a sociopath or shut in) and then making the effort to make that friendship, and the ones that followed work. I think I was especially motivated because I didn't have a ton of friends from undergrad and didn't feel like I was forming a bunch of lifelong friendship sin grad school. But I also think I might be someone who makes friends more easily outside the kind of forced socializing of school or work? I've never been someone who develops a lot of close workplace friendships either, and I think I just don't love mixing work and pleasure and that has led me to seek friendships outside my school or workplace.[/quote]

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