Reply to Why are relationships so hard?

Forum Index » Relationship Discussion (non-explicit)

Reply to "Why are relationships so hard?"

Subject:

Emoticons





More smilies

Text Color: Font: Close Marks

[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Relationships are like marathons. If you put all of your energy and passion in the first mile you will never complete the race. Too often people are overwhelmed with early relationship passions and never get to really understand and know their partner. A question to ask is could this person be my best friend in 25 years? [/quote]

It’s a marathon with an unknown course and unlimited potential obstacles and midway thru you realise the person you started has turned into stranger, and, oh, you are now your mother.

Good luck training for that!!
[/quote]

I used the marathon analogy for my first marriage. We had talked and it sounded like we were both on the same page. Then I realized as I was running that he wasn't by my side anymore and I was really lonely. I thought I had picked someone who would be my running partner (figuratively speaking, I actually hate running), [b]but it turns out he was just saying those things and didn't mean any of them[/b]. [/quote]

How long did it take for you to know this? And what sort of things made you feel this way?[/quote]

We started dating when I was 21 and we were together for almost a decade, three of which we were married when I realized we had no future. We hadn't had kids thankfully because I realized he wasn't going to be an equal partner.

When we started dating we discussed our plans for the future and what we wanted to accomplish. I did them all (graduated from college, went to grad school, got another professional degree, got the job I wanted, saved money for a house, etc.). He didn't do any of them (no grad school, no real career path, no commitment to hobbies). We got a dog because we both wanted one and I ended up being the one who did all the work. We planned a trip to Europe but then he didn't save towards it and didn't help with the planning. I could go on and on.

He was a nice guy, and we rarely fought. He really was a good friend to me. But then one day he mentioned wanting to pick up a new hobby (after saying this a million times and never following through) and I just said I was done. He wasn't a bad person but we were a bad match. I needed someone who was going to run through life with me and he deserved someone who would appreciate him for who he was.

I am now very happily married to my equal. I know he got married at some point but we are not in touch so I don't know if he's happy or if they're even still together. [/quote]

Options

	Disable HTML in this message
	Disable BB Code in this message
	Disable smilies in this message

Review message

Search Recent Topics Hottest Topics