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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Not looking for judgement maybe just support

Living with an 11 year old ADHD, Mood Disorder, Anxiety, ODD has torn my family apart. We have no real choice but to separate our other child from this trauma. This causes a separation in our family. I am left alone dealing with her and missing my other child and husband. Yesterday she destroyed my house again, throwing lotion, perfume, mouth wash all over the floor. After she calmed she cleaned it up. Then at 3:00 I was up to hear her threatening to kill me because I wouldn’t give her access to the internet. It’s going to be a long day. I will be here trying to be consistent with [b]restrictions based on behaviors[/b] and will spend the majority of my day locked in my room, the only place I feel safe. A real prisoner in my home. Before judgement- we have therapist, psychiatrist, medication, at a non public, have tried two hospitalizations, kicked out of PHP, did a 6 week in home program…. Feeling helpless trapped and so heartbroken[/quote]

OP, I am involved with NAMI and have encountered other families with similar problems. It is frightening and scary and sad for parents.  You are not alone, and this is not happening because you are a bad parent or person.  Typical parenting approaches don't work and often make things worse, but no one gives us a parenting manual for these kids. I have also encountered parents who have made it through this kind of parenting experience and come to a place where they have a positive relationship with their kids and their kids have developed enough skills and emotional control to make their way in the world independently. I'm really sorry that our culture doesn't provide you with the emotional, financial, governmental and medical support you and your kid need and deserve.

I know you said you have a NAMI navigator and support group from a Parents Place. I also really think the NAMI Basics class is useful - not for immediate solutions for your kid, but to see the long arc instead of being swept up in the chaos of now and to think more about how you are feeling and communicating and your supports and what issues you will encounter as she grows. [/quote]

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