Reply to Struggling getting 4 year old to cooperate

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]You talk about “telling her a million times” and “making threats”, but you don’t talk about what consequences you give her when she doesn’t comply.  If all you’re doing is talking, then it doesn’t matter if you threaten her a million times because she knows you won’t follow through.

If that’s the case, then sometime when things are calm (not at bath time) sit her down and explain that you will now be enforcing consequences, and then do so.  At bath time, you might give her a 5-minute heads up if she’s doing something else (“Five minutes until bath, wrap it up”), then tell her when it’s time for bath.  If she’s uncooperative, remind her of the consequence, and if she doesn’t comply, give the consequence. If (like with my strong-willed child), she remains defiant, then impose another consequence until you find one that matters to her.  If you have to make a list of lost privileges to keep track, do so.

On the other hand, find some time when she’s not in trouble to give her a treat, stressing that you love her and want to do nice things for her, but you can’t when she misbehaves.

Things may get worse for a while before they get better.  She’s going to test whether you’re really committed or will give up.  Be consistent and follow through every time.

[/quote]

Op here. Thanks again to all for the responses. Can you please tell me some of the consequences you use? I’m struggling with what are appropriate consequences.

With the bath stalling, we will tell her she is losing time to read and snuggle after bath (which she loves). I hate losing that time because it’s my favorite time too! There’s always the threat of no tv or treats, but I’ve read consequences need to be more immediate, not something she’d lose the following evening.

We talk a lot about helping each other as a family but I don’t think she honestly cares too much about that. 😂[/quote]

This is the kind of thing where "natural consequences" don't really make sense. I agree with others, she likely doesn't need a bath every day, but, building this as a habit will definitely help teaching her about basic hygiene. Does she have sensory issues where she doesn't like the bath? Would she prefer using a washcloth and water, and just wash her face, behind ears, her bottom? Just brainstorming a bit. Personally i'd try the incentive chart approach.[/quote]

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