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[quote=Anonymous][quote]Are you Asian?[/quote]

[quote]I wouldn't give her such an easy pass just because it's a different culture. Would you give a similar pass to a MIL raised in the American south who was racist against a POC DIL?[/quote]

NP. I wonder about OP's background as well, but I don't think she is Asian. I don't think comparing this situation to a racist American southerner is an equal comparison though. Unfortunately, "saving face" and filial piety are major concepts in Asian cultures, and I think they are playing a role in the wife's decision making/reaction to OP.

If I were in the wife's shoes, I would probably be irked by the "commendable" comment as well. As an Asian, I would probably know deep down that I haven't been following these concepts which have been very disappointing to my mother. I don't have a great relationship with my mom, but I respect her a lot. So I would feel whatever I'm doing to salvage the relationship is the bare minimum to make these amends. If my partner thought she was going above and beyond, that would bother me. However, I'm not OP's wife, so who knows what her thoughts are behind it all.[/quote]

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