Reply to s/o How do we screen potential spouses for mental illness?

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Don’t listen to people and resources that tell you to be less exacting. That was my mistake. I saw problematic traits and felt that nagging concern in my gut, but I let myself get worn down by advice that no one’s perfect and I need to stop sweating the “small” stuff.

Now, none of the people who advised me to focus on “bigger” things and hang on to a “good” man are here dealing with a terrible husband and depressing marriage. It’s just me trying to extricate myself from a borderline sociopath. [/quote]

But if you had listened to your gut and NOT found an appropriate partner, guess what, everyone would have been tsk-tsking about how you are too picky, etc.  How many threads on here are marveling at these women who never found a partner and how it’s all their own fault?

It’s not.  We can’t win.[/quote]
You’re exactly right and the sooner we women realize this, the sooner we can stop playing the game. We’re going to be judged harshly no matter what. Better to be judged for being true to yourself and listening to your gut. I know unhappily single women and unhappily married women. The unhappily married women are MUCH unhappier. [/quote]

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