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[quote=Anonymous]PP at 10:30.  A few other notes about this:

- The "do what I want" therapy extends to decorating.  There are a few home decorating elements that my ex didn't like or grudgingly tolerated.  I've pulled several things out of boxes, or put them in more prominent positions, because they make me happy and I'm the only one I have to please now.

- My ex no longer talks to me (except for a few e-mails wrapping up final tax details).  I'm honestly not sure whether that has helped or hurt the recovery process.  On the one hand, it's made for more of a "clean break" and quashes any illusions (and hopes, and chances) I might have of us ever getting back together.  On the other hand, it also quashes any hopes I'd had of being one of those divorced couples who managed to stay good friends after the divorce.  And of course it's hard being without the person who was my best friend for 17+ years.

- On a related note, don't be afraid to lean on your support structure.  My family and friends have been amazing. Not all your friends will be able to help in the same way, of course.  My closest friend has listened to endless whining and moping.  Other friends have been helped by going out to drinks or dinners, or to shows, or other occasions where going with my wife would have been the default.  And of course there were some friends who, when I talked to them shortly after the divorce, were kind and listened, but the gist of their advice was to get a therapist.  I took the hint that this meant that they were not interested in being my pro bono therapists (which is fine) and didn't lean on them as much for that sort of support.

- Speaking of therapists, it's up to you.  I haven't gotten one, mostly because it seems like the main thing I need is time and a therapist would just someone I'd have pay to vent to while I waited for that time to pass.  But lots of people I know swear by them.[/quote]

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